Would Denmark Mafia be so kind as to turn the soundbyte at 0:24 into their next banger? That's the kind of collaboration that can fuel my beat-off sessions all the way into spring. More Woodman HERE and HERE.
A truly beautiful ballad about a girl that makes pterodactyl sex noises and a man that pulls off one of the most amazing sexual achievements ever filmed. I think we all wish we had a little Jimmy in us.
At first I was positive this was the same woman that keeps invading my Instagram feed with videos about blowing circus clowns and publicly shaming herself for having the vaginal odor of a Sudanese outhouse. But her (un)puckered starburst having the towing capacity of a Dodge Ram 3500 proved otherwise.
After making it to the end of this one you may want to set some boundaries on your future sexual curiosities. Either that or just start fucking the neighbor's lawn mower in between trimmings because it's a lot easier to explain than this.
After years of being bullied about her great big ass, Guadalupe finally snapped, embraced it and now uses it as a weapon. Srsly tho, this South American girl's ass has gotta set some sort of world record. BOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM
Congratz! Local Russian folklore states that if you are visited by the naked battle gypsy of St. Pete you will be forever blessed by good fortune. Don't look directly at her vagina though, or they say she'll curse you with impotence.
Deep in the dungeon of KINK studios, they have accidentally unleashed a demon poltergeist from a troubled young girl. A sweet girl that finds vaginal sex super boring and only gets off from evil butt sex.
Dog The Bounty Hunter once told me the daywalker is one of, if not the most elusive creature on our planet. Decades of evolution have molded them to be some sort of cockroach/human hybrid. You'd think their survival skills would be S-tier, but all I got out of this was a lower credit score.
Easily the most try-hard bogus bullshit performances I've seen since YouTube's 'social experiment' revolution went off the rails. I have to point out though: nobody was injured, student loans were paid and girl #1's convulsions can double as a permanent case study for epilepsy. #win
LIFE LESSON #186: If your poker face is weaker than the walls of Alec Baldwin's rectum - stay the fuck out of the side-chick game. Last time I saw this level of angst in a female, I had to translate "yes, nickles are so a currency" into English for a Sudanese hooker. (thx Alexa)
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since responding to an OKCupid message from a girl named The Violator. Results were similar if you replace 'cumshot' with 'Hellmans Tartar Sauce'. And 'private affair' with 'Burger King during rush hour'.
I have a totally epic attraction like lol. only fuck you once under. Don't I ever include not a fucking internet return entry. so really serious like you know i love like you, only u r so easy living free.
